You must have seen couples who’ve been in a relationship forever and they do it rightly, and sometimes you think, “Wow! I wish I could have something like that.” It can appear smooth from far away but the amount of time, energy, and efforts invested in that relationship, you might have no idea about that. Then you went home, laid down, and recalled the episode where you engaged with someone new, you hit it off, and you decided to date them but it didn’t last, let’s say, more than a month. Don’t beat yourself up over it, it can be a good thing too.
You might remember that for that month, you were on your best behavior. You didn’t bicker much, you didn’t have many disputes but pure respect and humility, you lived with the fear that the other person can leave anytime and that thought made you humble. That’s what happens initially when you don’t take the other person for granted, be on your shittiest behavior, and expect them to love you forever. Yes, there are some relationships like that but short term relations have something to it which long term relations don’t. Both have their characteristics.
In any relationship, there’s always a ‘spark’. I mean duh! You won’t get into a relationship with someone if there is no ‘spark’. So you feel that spark, you feel the chemistry, the energy and you gather some strength to ask them out and they say the most amazing English word which you wanted them to say – YES. You had a feeling of achievement as if a dream has come true. Exactly. A dream. You’ll be up soon. Everything is fresh & new originally and with time it fades away like a seaside tan. It can be a fabulous one-month long relationship and can give you memories that you’ll always cherish.
Several people can only handle people at their best conduct, they aren’t intended to explore the more profound layers of other people, they leave the minute they feel uncomfortable by their partner’s behavior. It’s fine. You both were good for each other, but just for a month. In that one month, you felt the contentment that you haven’t experienced for a long time. Your mind was cautious not to do or say anything stupid and not to give them a reason to leave you already.
It’s an overwhelming feeling, but if talk about the relationships that have lasted, let’s say, 9 or 10 years, they have something which requires persistence and a genuine craving for the other person. Yes, their relationship sometimes gets “boring” and no, it doesn’t become the reason to break up with them. When you move past that fresh-new-let-me-pull-a-chair-for-you-honeymoon phase (just kidding, always do that for each other), things get real.
Not everyone can reach this point but when they do, they find a raw and unseen layer that they never would have seen in the first month of the relationship. Small things like their mood after a long day of work, how they behave when put in a troublesome situation, the fact that they’re lactose intolerant require a significant amount of time to be observed. To have someone who’s there for the real and authentic you are pretty awesome.
Either it is long term relationship or a short term, both are beautiful and will always give you a perspective about who not to date more than who to date next. Every new bond provided new personal values, what you will, and what you won’t tolerate in a relationship. So until your next relationship arrives, focus on yourself, develop deeper values, and be open to possibilities.